The Great Gatsby: brilliant, elusive, beautiful, ironic, melodious

Generally considered to be F. Scott Fitzgerald’s finest novel, The Great Gatsby is a consummate summary of the ‘roaring twenties’ and a devastating exposé of the shallowness of the ‘Jazz Age’. Through the narration of Nick Carraway, the reader is taken into the superficially glittering world of the mansions which lined the Long Island shore in the 1920′s, to encounter Nick’s cousin Daisy, her brash but wealthy husband Tom Buchanan, Jay Gatsby and the dark mystery which surrounds him.

The Great Gatsby is an undisputed classic of American literature from the period following the First World War, and is one of the great novels of the twentieth century.

I rarely read the introduction part which usually is a scholar analysis on the book. So my take on the premise of Great Gatsby might be different. After all each person has a different take on what he/she reads, depends on the circumstances that he/she’s in or what he/she believes.

For me, The Great Gatsby is a tale of people whose lives are not their own. Some belong to the past, some belong to an innocent dream of money and wealth as the promised land, some belong to their partner, some belong to revenge, some belong to the need to escape, some belong to the glittery nights, some belong to the addicting social validation. Neither of their friends are their true friends. Gatsby, a man whose imagination kept half of his life as his own but also gave the rest away to his past that took a life on its own. His life becomes his own fully when his story was contained by time and liberated by the memory of an observer.

In my point of view, this book, via its vivid narrative, seamlessly portrayed an insight about the clumsiness of our society (relinquishing their lives so that they are not their own). 5 words to describe my sentiment of this book: brilliant, elusive, beautiful, ironic, melodious.

We might need to revolutionise the way we approach language

I studied psychology. Most of my assessment about people, including my potential boyfriend, are derived and shaped from the psychology framework. I am a believer in Jungian approach, more specifically archetype. I classified my date based on archetype and tried to analyse if the archetype matches with my own archetype. Pretty obnoxious, don’t you think? Especially when I am not really sure about my own archetype. Yup knowing myself fully is really challenging, especially when I do something that I thought was not of my so-called character. That is my shortcoming (or the shortcoming of the framework used – it sometimes makes us overgeneralise everything), I must admit, yet I cannot help but categorise people unconsciously based on the language I choose.

Another general case is intelligence. At the superficial layer, we can perceive intelligence and often are deceived by the language one’s used (I think that is why many people use jargon – they hide their incapability to form a sharp thinking – an escape valve and also it makes us feel intelligent). However to think about it, it also shapes the way we think. For instance, Indonesian language often relies on context, hence a word can have multiple interpretations. The negative side, it is a challenge to think and form a concise concept or “ngawang-ngawang” (maybe it is one of the reasons why we easily buy into politicians’ promise that is encapsulated by vagueness of the words yet sounds good. However the positive side of it is that we appreciate complexities in life. We embrace change and are adaptable to it. Maybe that is why despite of our economic condition, we are still one of the most optimistic countries. It is a different case with English that requires concise and precise thinking (if you work in communication or marketing industry, you know how it is sometimes tiresome just to find the precise and right vocabulary to express our thoughts in important strategy documents). On the hindsight, English-speaking people find it difficult to explain complexities of lives (hence the popularity of Eastern philosophy and culture).

The language challenge also happens when you connect with people of different language. For example, a relationship with people that speak different language (foreigners). You want to express a feeling but you cannot find the right word to express it then it leads to misunderstanding that might lead to unnecessary bigger problem. But then again, come to think again, we still find difficulty to find the right word to express our thought and feeling to people who speak the same language as we do. Words seem to float yet you do not know which one to choose. Then you settle with the second best word. You still feel that something is not finished, you don’t think that your partner really get it. This might cause people to stop trying to really communicate what they mean to people they love. “That is enough. If they really love me, they will understand” is the wishful thinking that we entertain to make us feel better. Then problems come. At one point, you will feel cheated because you find out that they get you wrong. Crushed hope. Loneliness. Endless longing for real connection.

A few days ago, I watched the first episode of “Touch”. It is a TV series telling a story about a father and his kid that is diagnosed as autistic in our existing framework, but is actually seeing the world in different lens, different language, the language of numbers, to be precise.The ‘autistic’ kid experiences the world in different way, he sees the pattern of the past, present and future and everything actually has a formula, some sort of calculation that if you understand it, you can predict why something happens and even the future. In short, the film comes with a premise that evolution of language signifies evolution of species.  In our world that we perceive as reality, evolution of language happens (often comes naturally with the invention in technology, social situation or context, etc.), from the slang words that its usage often indicates one’s age until the admission of new words regularly into dictionaries such as Oxford. Even with that, we still struggle to find the right word. In the “Touch” world, the struggle might lie into how to find the right mathematical expression for emotion or highly emotional concept such as love.

I often wonder about the Babel tower incident. The fable told a story about people that wanted to catch God up. They built a tower that is so tall in the hope of reaching God’s palace – my interpretation: they want to cheat death or they want to prove that they do not have to experience death to reach the Kingdom of Heaven. God was angry then took their ability to speak in the same language, hence different languages are born. Is it the envy of God that people actually have potential to open up limitless possibilities when are given chance to collaborate, forming collective intelligence? In the age of Renaissance, revolution was born in coffee shops where people gathered and exchanged opinions. In our time, people shared their knowledge openly via internet enriching our horizons  that helps us form better vision for the world and how to achieve it, scientists invite people to contribute in answering scientific question. This is our Babel tower now: collective intelligence to solve any problem.

Our different language has a benefit in one point. It creates divergence of perspectives. What people of language A do not think of are brought to realisation by people of language B. It opens up our thinking and possibilities of solution. This is the essence of collaboration. However as human, we also have a need of control. Hence there is structure inside structure. We create another language to convert different perspective into one language that hopefully everybody can understand. This is a good intention. But on the hindsight, as we are afraid that other stakeholder does not understand our intention, we spend more time to translate it into the structure, finding the right vocabulary, instead of focusing our resources to find new ideas (defeating the purpose of collaboration).

Right now I can only think of two scenarios to solve this problem. The first scenario, if the evolution of language brings us to the “pre-Babel” condition (one lingo that lacks of tangible form, some sort of telepathy). The second scenario, the division of labour that makes interpreters one of the most important jobs in this world. It does not limit to ‘geographical-based’ lingo only, but any lingo (jargon included). Interpreters, charge your client higher. Your profession is highly needed in order to make this world more efficient and productive.

A stranger in the city of lights

Hey stranger, I don’t know why when I see you, I feel as if I’m brokenhearted.

You stand there like a statue, looking but not looking. Everything seems to pass you by.

I wonder what compels you to wake up from your sleep, or… maybe you don’t

Have you ever been in love? Did it make you leap? Or did it draw you even deeper into your shell?

Did your beloved understand you? Or did she cover up the hole in your soul then realised that she’s suck in that she was losing herself

Did you write your songs because only in that way you can feel her existence?

… With this, I’m letting you go

Hi. I am nothing.

Let me introduce myself. Should I introduce myself to my own journal? Besides I don’t know how to introduce myself.

Sure, I can give you my name, age, where I live or what my line of work is. However it is just cosmetics. It begs for meaning, personality, uniqueness to distinguish myself from other individuals with the same name, age, place, line of work, hobby, favourite dessert or even boyfriend, whatever.You may think that my facebook or twitter page seamlessly tells my story but mine is just another cosmetics, meaningless rambles. The only conclusion you might get is I’m a discreet and shy person. I used to think that way but is it true? Is me being discreet caused by introvert nature? Or it’s because I barely know myself.

‘Hi. How are you?’ is the most difficult question to answer without resorting to the usual minimalistic answer ‘good’ because I don’t know how I am, how I truly feel about the series of events I’ve been through. I am an almost empty vessel, the only essence left is only capable of doing the most banal operation. Thinking. Doubting.

People who know me may think of me as a quirky girl with shy but easy going personality or maybe as a boring person who is incapable of entertaining small talks. But deep inside, I know the ‘me’ they know is the sum total of different unique personalities I have encountered in my life, through books, blogs or people I meet in coffee shop or on the street. I am susceptible to be infected with accents, habits, opinions, thinking of others and make it as if they are my own as well. Maybe that is why I choose a line of work that allows me to use my ability to inhabit people’s mind and steer them to certain desired outcomes. When I work, I feel excited because finally my vessel is filled but they are just guests that are just passing through. When I don’t work, I am an empty vessel again.

You might think that I need some help. But is there anything to be helped? I am not sure myself. Self-help book has never entertained me. Self-help book’s premise is to heal or improve self but what if you don’t have the self? Nor I have the patience to go to psychologists because I have nothing of essence to tell. I also don’t have the inclination to tell my friends. I once told my friends about my nothingness but they did not quite get it, they offered some consolation that it might be because I was tired and needed some vacations. I don’t know if I am the only person who is contracted with this ‘nothingness’ or maybe it’s because I’m using the language that assumes content.

Maybe I need to find or invent the language of ‘nothingness’. Then the second question… If such language exists, are my friends willing to learn this language? I suspect this requires them to submerge themselves in ‘nothingness’ but isn’t this asking too much? I am not sure if I want to demand that kind of sacrifice. Then the only way left is to find another person who also contracts ‘nothingness’. But is it possible for two nothingness to connect? Is the language necessary? Won’t it be nothing as well?

The Name of The Rose [A book review]

"The Name of The Rose" by Umberto Eco

“A brilliantly conceived adventure into another time” (San Francisco Chronicle) by critically acclaimed author Umberto Eco.

The year is 1327. Franciscans in a wealthy Italian abbey are suspected of heresy, and Brother William of Baskerville arrives to investigate. When his delicate mission is suddenly overshadowed by seven bizarre deaths, Brother William turns to the logic of Aristotle, the theology of Aquinas, and the empirical insights of Roger Bacon to find the killer. He collects evidence, deciphers secret symbols and coded manuscripts, and digs into the eerie labyrinth of the abbey (“where the most interesting things happen at night”) armed with a wry sense of humor and a ferocious curiosity.

When I read the local translation version, I was confused and avoided that book for so long (I felt stupid for not being able to comprehend it). Then one day, I braced myself to read the English version and it took my breath away. As I got into the middle of the book, it became harder and harder to put down. It’s a historical murder mystery set in an Italian abbey in 14th century. The story revolved around Franciscan friar William of Baskerville and his novice, Adso of Melk(the story’s told from the Adso’s point of view) trying to untangle the mystery (hint: truth is far more random and stranger than fiction) while struggling to face the corrupt Pope and his followers.

In the course of the story, I was tickled by questions like…

What is ‘truth’, does anyone have a right to determine ‘truth’, is it ‘static’ concept or is it naturally ‘bend-able’, do curiosity and faith go together, how we can define heresy, how we should defend our faith, will we be wiser if we stay on track obeying rules or if we let our guard down and commit sin sometimes?

This book, beyond satisfying our intellectual need (with William’s insightful analysis), but also serves as a reminder to stay critical – not blindly believe the ‘truth’ that is shoveled down to your throat regardless of the status of the person.

“If this might be my last day on earth, I would…” [My dream journal, 1st entry]

If the premise “There was a forecast that Armageddon would happen tomorrow and this might be my last day on earth”, according to my dream, I would join a mass wedding with thousands of people marrying my friend’s brother, whom in my dream I regarded as ‘so-so’.

Then we would run away with our friends to find a safe place. On our way to save ourselves, my husband would get into an accident and pass away. The next day when the Armageddon seemed to take a rest for a while, my friend would ran to me expressing her condolences and me with my cold expression saying thank you. Then my friend would point out my another friend’s brother’s body whom she thought it was my husband and I told him no. Weirdly she would be insisting that it was my husband and I’d answer, “Believe me, no. That body is our another friend’s brother’s. Had I married him, I would really remember and be devastated upon his death. He was cute and I had a crush on him when I was still a little kid.”

CONCLUSION: I am a hopeless bitch, according to my dream.

 

The responsibilities and consequences of “I Love You”

John Steinbeck, a Nobel laureate,  the author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men wrote a letter giving advice to his son who was madly falling in love with a girl.  Below is the letter.

New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

Source: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/01/12/john-steinbeck-on-love-1958/

What I like the most about his advice is that he didn’t belittle his son’s love “You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love”. He was not protective but he shared his wisdom about love, that when you love someone and you say it, it comes with responsibility that you ought to take – living up to it and taking the other party’s feeling into consideration.

I personally believe “I love you” (I’m referring to ‘romantic love’) is not something that someone can say lightly, for example “I love you but let’s not rush commitment into this”. I think that is b*llshit (pardon my language). Good in paper but does not work in reality. When you say “I love you” to other party, the other party (who happens to reciprocate the feeling) cannot help but expect that there will be a continuation, a relationship that includes commitment and loyalty despite of the refusal to label the relationship. Saying ‘I love you’ means that you are willing to take responsibility of others’ feeling and expectation. If a person, man or woman, cannot bear this responsibility, it is best to say nothing.

“I just want to ‘release’ and say this to you but we cannot go further than this”, I believe, is a selfish act.

“I love you” is the three words that one should really think about before saying it and can only be said when the person means it and is willing to live up to its beauty but also fragility – accepting the probability of losing it too. For, according to my experience and my friends’, the journey of love sometimes is bumpy and we may make it or we may not. Although at that time, we may find it really difficult not to replay our memory trying to find out what’s wrong, toying with ‘what if’s and blame ourselves, I believe or I want to believe that, like a bottle of wine, it gets better with time, that it is a process to prepare myself to be ready for better and better love journey in the future with myself or with different person.

Dedicated to a good friend of mine. Girl, I admire your big heart and is really grateful to be your friend.

Jakarta, 16th January 2012.

The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study [A book review]

This eight-decade longitudinal study thoroughly tested hypothesis and preconceived notion that we have about how to achieve a long life, e.g.  e.g. ‘is it true that an extrovert carefree person lives a longer life than the introvert and conscientious one?’, ‘is it true that staying single reduces our chance to live a longer life?’, ‘is it true that the way to achieve longer life is to avoid stress?’.

Our society is used to frame longevity issue in a symptom-tackling or checklist manner but this study dug deeper in answering why and exploring the dynamic interplay between many factors, e.g. personality, social environment, family condition, married/single, gender, etc (as the study followed the respondents’ lives since their childhood until they died).

Indeed the result of this study challenged our perception and belief about longevity.

Here’s the interview video with the authors explaining about their book and the trivia about which myths negated by this research .

 

I personally think that there are still a few ‘why’s that are yet to be answered (perhaps due to the limitation of the study) but I believe it is a good starting point for us and our society in framing our strategy and policy to promote health.

Note: this book provides some self-assessment tool to help us map where we are and what we should do to improve our health.

 

For more information, check out the author’s website.

4 pertanyaan ‘kenapa’ yang paling bikin banyak orang Indonesia penasaran menurut Google

Di sore yang mendung ini, saya iseng ngetik kata ‘kenapa’ di Google Search dan demikianlah yang muncul #mendungsokproduktif.

Click to enlarge

Dan saya iseng-iseng (lagi) berhipotesis kenapa pertanyaan ini yang paling banyak di-google orang. Please note bahwa ini saya lagi ngasal-ngasal aja.

1. Kenapa anjing haram

Biasanya kalau sesuatu yang bahaya atau sebaiknya dijauhi bentukannya serem-serem dan bikin kita bergidik, seperti kelabang, ulat bulu, kecoak dan sebagainya. Sedangkan anjing, banyak banget yang lucu-lucuuuuu sehingga orang-orang bertanya-tanya kenapa binatang selucu itu haram, termasuk saya. Walaupun saya takut sama anjing, saya suka ngeliat anjing-anjing lucu apalagi yang masih puppies. Favorit saya Siberian Husky, pengen peyuk-peyukkk (emangnya ada yang nanyaaaa hahaha).

Siberian Husky & Mongrel (lucu kaaaan)

2. Kenapa lutut berbunyi

Kalau pas lagi jongkok, tiba-tiba bunyi krek krek, ada pendapat bahwa, ini karena kurang gerak, sehingga untuk menanggulanginya perlu sering dilatih sendi-sendinya, lebih sering dilatih pergerakannya. Kalau disertai sakit, sebaiknya konsultasi ke dokter. Kalau lututnya mulai bersiul dan bernyanyi… nahhhh baru pusing atau… langsung upload ke youtube! Jangan lupa nge-tweet dan tag para buzzer ya.

3. Kenapa rambut rontok

Kebotakan dini pasti meresahkan baik buat perempuan maupun laki-laki, kegalauan yang memilukan saat melihat rambut berjatuhan saat keramas atau ketakutan tiap kali harus nyisir supaya gak ditanya orang-orang ‘abis kejebur di mana lo?’, ‘lo belom mandi ya?’. Makanya guys, be nice  kalau ada temannya yang rambutnya keruwel-keruwel berantakan, dipeluk yah.

Berpelukannnnn!

4. Kenapa sering masuk angin

Nahhhh ini penyakitnya namanya orang kamseupay (kalau mau tau dan penasaran arti & asal kata ‘kamseupay’, click link ini http://wp.me/p260Fs-Z) yang biasanya pakai AC alam, sok-sok pakai AC mesin (termasuk gue dong?). Kalau terpaksa, ya udah, nasib. Siap-siap baju tebel, balsem dan koyo. Kalau gue, abis ini search “gimana supaya tetep keren walaupun bau balsem dan pakai koyo” apalagi kalau pakai baju minimalis kayak mbak-mbak di bawah ini.

Garing ya? Ya udah deh. Nasib lo yang baca-baca deh. Hahaha.

Biar ga bete, nih ta’ kasih lagu yang asik.

Me, updated.

Sering dengar orang ngomong, “New Year, New Me?” Orang-orang menginterpretasikan ini misalnya dengan baju baru, potongan rambut baru, tempat kerja baru *eh*, mungkin juga pacar baru dan resolusi tahun baru untuk memperbaharui / update diri sendiri supaya lebih baik.

Dulu-dulu gue lumayan sinis, ngejawab “Apanya yang baru, orangnya masih tetap sama, kelakuan tetap sama walaupun resolusi tahun barunya ingin mengubah kelakuan tertentu.”  Dengan skeptisnya, gue pun gak pernah memaknai resolusi tahun baru dengan sungguh-sungguh. Bayangkan resolusi tahun baru gue untuk tahun 2010: mau foto bareng sama Nicholas Saputra (dan kesampean! ihiy!), sama sekali ga ada hubungannya dengan “New Year, New Me”.

Biar gelap, yang penting terukir dalam hati (ihiy)

Tapi tahun 2011 ini benar-benar jadi tahun pembelajaran buat gue. Banyak hal yang terjadi dan membuat gue mengevaluasi lagi pendapat dan sikap gue.

Seringkali orang-orang, termasuk gue, menilai orang dari luar, dari kata-kata yang digunakan, dari kepercayaan diri (atau kengototan) yang ditunjukkan. Walaupun gue udah tahu konsep ini secara kognitif, tahun ini gue benar-benar mengalami dan belajar bahwa apa yang tampak di luar seringkali tidak sesuai dengan yang sebenarnya.

Orang-orang yang dominan belum tentu lebih brilian daripada orang-orang yang tampak submisif. Orang-orang dengan penampilan alim belum tentu moralitasnya lebih baik daripada orang-orang bertampang preman yang super sangar (gue bertemu sendiri orang-orang yang bertampang atau bereputasi sangar tapi lebih sopan dan menghargai persahabatan daripada orang yang tampangnya alim-alim). Orang-orang dengan resume panjang dan fantastik belum tentu lebih pintar daripada orang-orang yang resumenya kelihatan biasa-biasa aja atau masih seperti anak itik.

Bertemu dengan orang-orang seperti ini membuat gue belajar untuk lebih menghargai diri gue sendiri. Dan ini adalah highlight pembelajaran gue tahun ini:

Walaupun gue muda (atau kata orang, masih keliatan kayak anak umur 13 tahun), gue bisa dan berani beropini dengan kritis, mengambil dan mengekspresikan sikap.

Gue pikir inilah inti dari resolusi. Mengambil pelajaran dari tahun sebelumnya dan mempraktekan pelajaran itu di tahun berikutnya.

Dan di tahun 2012 ini,  gue beresolusi untuk lebih percaya diri untuk beropini dan bersikap kritis. Cuma “sedikit” tapi benar-benar mengena dan bermakna buat gue dan karenanya, akan gue usahakan sebaik-baiknya supaya terwujud.

Selamat tahun baru 2012, semoga tahun ini semakin banyak momen yang kita hargai dan maknai dan kita makin tumbuh (mudah-mudahan jangan ke samping, hiks *menatap nanar celana jeans lama*).

Mudah-mudahan tahun ini gue kesampean punya ini (mudah-mudahan ada kuis berhadiah ini dan gue dimenangin) *tetep murahan*

Nambah musik buat joget-joget ah, biar seru.