Monthly Archives: January 2010

Dilemma of Learning Psychology

In the early year of my psychology classes, one of the smartest lecturers had warned us about the hidden “trap” of learning psychology. At that time, we were all laughing about it, but as time passed by, we soon realized that it was not a joke.

It has dawned on me for years as a sort of revelation:

The dilemma of learning psychology:
either you’ll feel at peace or you’ll constantly be doubtful about anything, including yourselves.


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Ode to Women

Smart and strong woman is beautiful
because she owns her way in this world

Gentle and loving woman is beautiful
With her tender heart, she grows the world

Her calm and passionate beauty saves the world
Her smiles are the oasis in the desert
As her tears drop, the earth blossoms in the rain of pink petals
Glory to her enchanting beauty!

She’s a dim of light in the lost restless soul
The saints recite their faith in every of her step
and God stays in every of her touch

In her prayer, every hope is made flesh
as she bears life in her heart
and compassion shines in her soul

She’s the jewel of the world
Guardian of heaven’s and hell’s gate
As from love, she was made
and for love, she shall die

Jakarta, 24th January 2010

image, “Lotus Flower” by Yun Shou-ping

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menatap rindu dari pesisir lamunan, beribu mil jauhnya
bergolak tanya apa dan mengapa

malam ini bulan setengah
debur ombak menguak rahasia hati
dalam sebuah kastil pasir,
mengharap temu dan tawa
di penghujung bulan purnama

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dear cold morning

cold morning, can you see my breath under my bed sheet
or are you busy lingering around the gray sky,
asking, “what’s your dream today?”

Jakarta, 19th January 2010

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staring, blinking, clicking, saving, chatting
drawing a face in mirror images
set up the eyes
on the brink of the phantom

so real, so close
we breathe from a million miles away
aligned in the future of a star

Jan 18, 2010
in the middle of chat room

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True or False: Discovery Behind 3 Myths

Which one is worse?

1. Cry = sad
Not necessarily. Yesterday I cried, but I was not sad. That was me bearing the pain under needle and comedo extractor.

2. Beauty = pain
Not 100% true. They said, beauty is pain. Under the hand of facial expert, it is. However after I was done with them, I looked very far from beautiful, but horrible. Strangely, I feel relieved, triumphant over banishing the comedo away.

3. Toothache is worse than heartache
Hm… True. Yesterday, a taxi driver told me that toothache, no matter how severe the pain was, can be completely erased by applying kerosene. Yes, that kerosene, no joke. He dipped a cotton to kerosene and placed it on his bad teeth. While he told me, he had the kerosene cotton in his mouth.

I say… heartache takes time and will to heal, no instant remedy, but you can learn something from it. At least it doesn’t affect your health directly, whereas, in the taxi driver case, toothache may jeopardize your health and your life.

[… to be continued]

image, edited from

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Lonely Girls

“Lonely Girls” is a song written and played by one of my favorite band, Suede. This band marked my teenager years and I personally think that Suede is the it band for the 90’s era.

If one day I make a screenplay about my adolescence years, “Lonely Girls” will be my ultimate soundtrack.

The key message will be like this …
“Lonely girls fill the world”, thanks to you [this song], we knew that we were not alone. 🙂

And how about you? What will you choose to be the soundtrack of your adolescence years?

Artist: Suede
Album: A New Morning

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Title: Transatlanticism
Artist: Death Cab for Cutie
Album: Transatlanticism

Listening this song, my mind wanders elsewhere. Swaying my heart, embracing a longing heart, humming a hymn to come home.

The Atlantic was born today, and I’ll tell you how:
The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing floodlands to your door
Have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer [x8]

I need you so much closer [x4]

So come on, come on [x4]

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standing before the window

standing before the window
the wind draws a heart in my every breathe
shivering my head
warming my soul

and that’s when people come and go
bringing me pieces of themselves
leaving footprint on my feet
so they shall live in my heart forever

mark my day
mark my vanity
… or shall I dream?

my fairy, may your wing hide my tears
take me fly with you
to the sky, we embrace every space
nature where you lies
open gates to eternity

may heaven touch me tenderly
and may I’m born in your womb
in the apple of God’s eyes
bless me, dear Love!
so I may see compassion in every existence
and hope shall be alive forever

image, courtesy of Salvador Dali

Journey to The Center of 2009 (in brief)

Opening the gate of 2010, most people reflect on what have they achieved and what happened in 2009. Then they joyfully enter the new gate with hope that everything will be alright, that joy and luck will stay with them always.

The year of 2009, well, to be honest, I’m not good at remembering details, but one thing for sure, I do remember what I’ve learned and accomplished this year, in general.

1. Enlisting myself as capitalism slave and I love it. It is time to give back. I have been a faithful shopper and now I’m in the process of learning how to make people shop more. At the same time, I also shop more. Capitalism should thank a diligent student like me. 😀

2. Learning to accept and let go. We cannot always have what we want because perhaps, what we want is not what’s best for us. When we are subdued by our desire, our eyes are blind and we feel misery when we don’t get it. However, later on, we might realize that we should be thankful that we don’t get it. This is a lesson that we can read but we cannot acquire unless we experience it firsthand. That’s what I learn so far.

3. Learning to get to know people more and their hidden motives, learning how to distinguish real friends and real predators. 😀
Real friends wish the best for all of us, whereas real predators pose themselves as friends to prey on you while you’re off-guard. Despite all that mess, on 2009, I met some new friends and I’m grateful to know them. 🙂

4. Writing more, sharing more. On 2009, I began to write more often, practise more. Then my friend recommended me to join Ngerumpi where all the people there share their writing and give feedback on each other. They’ve inspired me to write and to learn each and everyday. By the beginning of 2010, one of my article will have been published along with other bloggers in Ngerumpi, “Berbagi cinta, berbagi cerita” (Sharing Love, Sharing Stories). Thank you guys! 🙂

2009 has been a wonderful year to me and I’m thankful that God has given me opportunity to experience it all. I believe that the journey has just been started. I can’t wait to see the next chapter!

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