Monthly Archives: February 2010

I Like For You To Be Still

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy

I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would’ve died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I’m happy;
Happy that it’s not true

by: Pablo Neruda
(Il Postino Soundtrack)

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Me, according to self-assessment quiz on FB (MBTI?)

I think this test result sums me up quite right. πŸ™‚

Take the quiz here

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Just walk beside me and be my friend

β€œDon’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

(Albert Camus)

image, courtesy of http://www.clearwatergraphicwebdesigns.com

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on the fourth avenue

on the fourth avenue, the night said hi
and the rain wiped away my tears
as the sky played its finest overture
wrapping my stone cold heart with the gladness of warmth

when I glanced the lonely street,
I yearned for your eyes
looking deep into my wound
and telling me, ‘it’s gonna be alright’

but my dear,
the night will die soon
and the sun shall soon enlighten me
about the beauty of limitless dream
and the lovely smile it brings

as I regain my steps
I’ll take our memory and hope with me
enticing the fate
once again

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Enlightenment on Feb 14, 2010

When I want peace, I read books; when I look for trouble, I read people.

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Blooming Valentine

Saya akhirnya kembali lagi di sini. Menatap layar komputer dengan pikiran melayang, perasaan melambung. Ah bohong deh. Bilang saja saya kurang kerjaan. Tumpukan project sudah selesai dari seminggu yang lalu. Alhasil saya kembali jadi anggota perkumpulan MAGABUT.

Biasanya kalau kerjaan sudah kelar, fokus kembali ke diri sendiri toh, termasuk sampah-sampahnya. Namun bedanya, sekarang saya perhatikan, kok di sampah-sampahnya malah tumbuh tunas bunga baru? Yak, ternyata setelah dua puluh empat tahun melanglang buana di dunia ini, saya sadar bahwa saya telah banyak berubah. Sudah tidak terlalu cengeng (kadang-kadang masihlah, namanya juga manusia). Masih pendek sih tapi herannya saya sudah tidak sesinis dulu. Kalau dulu saya percaya bahwa Valentine itu cuma akal-akalan orang marketing, sekarang saya paling tidak bersedia mengakui bahwa Valentine itu indah, tidak hanya buat kaum kapitalis tetapi juga buat orang-orang yang merasakan cinta. Cinta memang sudah seharusnya dirasakan setiap hari, namun tidak ada salahnya toh kita sekali-sekali berpesta untuk cinta?

Apa ini karena saya sedang jatuh cinta? Ya tidak juga. Maksud saya, cinta dalam arti yang sehakikatnya. Cinta Tuhan, cinta orangtua, cinta saudara, cinta teman, cinta sesama. Tidak perlu cinta eros, cinta-cinta itu sudah nyetrum kok. Hanya saja karena kita dianugerahi cinta-cinta itu semenjak kita ada, kita lupa. Padahal cinta yang berharga itu apa sih? Saya juga bingung, tapi kemarin malam, saya menonton sebuah film di HBO, Nights In Rodanthe, dan saya merasa seperti tersetrum mendengar potongan dialog ini,

“But there’s another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it.”

Film ini memang film romansa, namun pesan di dialog ini begitu indah. Cinta yang membuat kita berani untuk menjadi lebih baik, yang membuat kita merasa segalanya mungkin. Tidakkah cinta saudara dan teman membuat kita merasa dipahami? Tidakkah cinta orangtua membuat kita bertumbuh? Tidakkah cinta Tuhan memberi kita kekuatan, inspirasi, dan anugerah tiada batasnya? Tidakkah cinta sesama membuat kita merasakan cinta Tuhan yang begitu besar?

Oleh karena itu, ingin saya dedikasikan bulan cinta ini pada teman-teman semua, saudara, keluarga, dan terutama untuk Tuhan. Semoga hati kita dapat semakin merekah, merasakan berkat Tuhan dan keindahan dalam anugerah terindah yang Tuhan berikan pada kita, C I N T A. I love you all. πŸ™‚

image, courtesy of fineartamerica.com

Posted also here

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About insecurity

Insecurity conceals your true heart even from yourself.

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“hello” and “good night”

listening to the water marching in the backdoor
flowing rhythm to the ears of the lost conscience
ready to grasp the distance between fragile mirrors in our eyes
longing to say, “hello” and “good night”


Jakarta, 4th February 2010
Melancholy rain

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Cannonball

Title: Cannonball
Artist: Damien Rice
Album: O

Enchanting melody, heart-touching lyrics, beautiful song

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what’s going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven’t kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can’t say what’s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it’s not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can’t see what’s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it’s not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
‘Cause it’s not hard to fall
And I don’t wanna scare her
It’s not hard to fall
And I don’t wanna lose
It’s not hard to grow
When you know that you just don’t know

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